Being content!

I am setting up myself for failure as I try to find a “theme” for this post. Being under the weather is the perfect time for melancholic reflections. I guess the main looming and interlinked questions are “What is it that I have to figure out to be content in life” and “Why is humanity going to dogs these days?”

As Lord Krishna preaches, I have tried my hand (and do keep trying) to put in my best and be detached from the end result and circumstances. It seems like a cycle – at times I feel fairly comfortable in being an “observer” and at other times I find myself getting sucked into the quicksand called “samsara”.

The theme of life seems to be me trying to figure out what makes one truly content? Were the older generations equally restless or did they face the same issues that we do with me being oblivious all the time? Why are there moments of fleeting happiness, why isn’t it long lasting? How do I identify what is missing?

There always seems to be a reason to be discontent – if we are working, we are busy. If we are not working, we are bored. If we don’t earn enough (the magic question of how much is really enough?), we work harder. If we earn a lot, we don’t have time to actually enjoy the fruits of our labor. If we have a partner/concerned family, we find it annoying that we have to answer. If we are single, we wonder if we are doomed to be lone rangers.

What is it that is really missing in life that will give me that perfect feeling of being content regardless of the situations that life has to offer me?

This leads on to the next question as to whether there is a semblance of humanity at all these days? All around I see my close ones struggling personally and professionally – and the reason does not seem to be a lack of competence at all. In fact competency and dedication  seem to have become a boon. The “smart” folks to help them look “smarter” exploit competency and dedication. All I see around seems to be people just stepping over each other with least concern for core human principles – it is not even a lack of concern, I just don’t know what to label it.

They say that there is a reason for every person who is part of our life. But what really is the reason for crossing path with certain people except for being exposed to the fact that the world is no fairyland? How do I completely mentally free myself from all the associate negative thoughts and acts concerning the person if I come across person after person who makes me more cynical about humanity?

I always wonder if we are denying love to our fellow beings, the core principle that underlies life (in my view anyway), are we not going to be answerable to a higher force if not today, at some point? And aren’t we better off trying to fix our wrongs when we are physically adept than in the end when we probably are short on time, health, support, money and various other factors?

As a wise person said, if we do not have time to think about ourselves how can we even think about others? It raises an interesting question – are we even prioritizing time in our life for the right things? And what is the “right thing” anyways that leads us to being content in life? As I complain, I even wonder if I have really prepared myself to receive anything better than the worst?

I don’t think life is necessarily harsh and I do appreciate the trying times I go through. I almost feel that my ego gets crushed and the way I deal with the situation defines my happiness or unhappiness. Down the line, the trying times always make sense and help strengthen my character and bring my loopholes to the forefront.

At the end of the day, I just need to remember that I need to have the courage to do the “right” thing even when nobody is peeping over my shoulders. I need to learn to take responsibility for every situation I am in, free my mind from worry and anxiety, reflect on the course of my life, banish bitter thoughts, purify my character and believe in love no matter what.

More than a month into the New Year, but better late than never – here’s toasting to a brilliant 2012!!

 

Healthy body, healthy mind!

“To keep the body in good health is a duty…otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.” – Buddha

Sometimes we are so caught up in the rigmarole of life, that we tend to neglect the well-being of our body and mind. It is ironic that we earn to sustain ourselves and yet we are too “busy” to find time to have a proper meal regularly. In an attempt to get better, I started a regime of regular exercise and proper diet.

I had a vested interest in trying to get better – to be in the “healthy weight” bracket of BMI as per my height and to age gracefully (having read that women tend to “surface” all their fat once they hit 30). It will take longer to know whether I will be able age gracefully, but for the first time ever I am healthy and the feeling has been liberating. It is quite an achievement for me and the thought that people no longer ask me why I am ridiculously thin is liberating.

Having said all that a word of caution regarding exercising – it is crucial that we know our limitations and learn to respect our body. I pushed myself too hard injuring myself in the process. Due to the excessive pressure I put on myself (something my body has not been used to) I injured my patella and illiotibial band and have a few months of recovery constituting physiotherapy and regular orthopedic visits.

Although exercise and diet are a starting point, being physically and mentally fit required much more effort. I made a lot of changes to my life to achieve the change:

• Regular exercises (jogging, walking, cycling, hiking etc)
• Food in-take (variety of food, quantity, frequency etc)
• Eradicate clutter in life (although I am not a minimalistic, overtime I have drastically reduced my “possessions”)
• Time for family and friends
• Tryst with advaitam (non-duality)

I can positively say that a combination of all these factors have helped me become more content in life – I do not always get what I expect, but over time I have learnt to be content with what I receive. As cheeky as it sounds, regardless of all the injuries we will be prone to, we have to make an effort to do our best to protect our body and mind.

Death

Maybe death is the great equalizer; the one big thing that can finally make strangers shed a tear for one another.

One of the biggest side effect to growing old is having to experience the death of our loved ones. The vacuum that we experience when our loved ones die and at times in the most unexpected fashion is excruciatingly painful. I always used to tell myself that I wanted to die before I had to experience the pain of someone close to me dieing or suffering. I guess that is just my inherent selfishness – I know that my death is easier compared to seeing my loved ones leaving me.

There is definitely something about death and we shed a tear even if the other person is our enemy. We contemplate on what the value of life is? We contemplate on what life holds for us. We are scared of the vacuum our loved ones will create. We are not ready to let go and experience that painful loneliness. Death just creates a deluge of emotions in us.

What is it about death that makes it so painful? When we are healthy, we are not even bothered to think of important things and when we are sick (and when it is potentially late), we repent – what is the use of the repentance when we were given numerous chances during our prime to get things right? When our loved ones are around, we are too busy for them and we potentially don’t even give them a second thought – yet when they are gone, they leave a gaping hole in our life which no one can fill.

I am a believer in new beginnings. I strongly believe it is never too late to set things in life right. Let us not wait until it is too late …

Silence

There is a time for speech. There is a time for silence.

The mind is like a can of worms full of thoughts all vying for our attention. In our daily life with all the actions, experiences, feelings and emotions we usually downplay our thoughts and don’t give them our attention.

I took sometime off from everything and everyone (a digital and human vacation) to experience true silence amidst Mother Nature. In the process of silence all thoughts started rising one after another. The deluge of thoughts and the speed at which they appear is completely awe-inspiring. Just observe all the thoughts; ignoring them makes their desire to be on the forefront stronger. Eventually all the thoughts started fading away after having a chance to be on the stage called “mind”. To plagiarize and paraphrase Shakespeare, The mind is a stage and all thoughts are mere players.

Once all the thoughts faded away, there is a strange and unbearable heaviness in the heart. The heaviness eventually also passes by leaving behind a sense of content and the mind is completely still. The inherent oneness that exists in everyone/everything becomes clearer. The sense of distinctness fades away and the beauty of unity becomes clearer.

There is overwhelming beauty all around us – the gentle breeze, the trees, the flowers, the smell of grass and mud just after rain, the squirrels – the feeling of unity even when alone amidst Mother Nature is beautiful. It immediately brings a heartfelt smile that just lasts.

The silence gives me courage to claim the moment, patience to accept what comes and release what goes and honesty to face the future. The challenge is to sustain the feeling of oneness and serenity on a daily basis. Our desires becomes thoughts, our thoughts become actions and our actions shape our future. With the cultivation of a strong desire to be content, life becomes beautiful every moment.

Regret

“I hate regrets” – loved Katrina Kaif’s character in Zindagi Mile Na Dobara.

We don’t know if we’ll live to 40, damn it I don’t even know if I’ll be alive tomorrow :-) Make today count!

Watch a sunrise, watch a sunset, hold your partners hands, hug more, have a triple scoop banana split, cook that special meal, walk bare foot on fresh grass, try something new, make new friends, keep in touch with old friends, laugh often, fall in love …

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.

I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I’d just been myself.

Partner

We don’t need someone to make us whole. But it’s just nice to have that one person who you mean something to and feel special.

The Indian figurines from Archies are nice, especially the dress and the flute in the guy’s hand – reminds me of Krishna!

Individuality

I’ve never been able to understand or appreciate why we are so caught up with all the societal norms and don’t nourish our individuality. We all have such different tastes and goals in life and yet somehow everyone is expected to confirm to societal norms some of which were put in place years ago and might not even be relevant in current times.

Just as different photographers see different scenes through the same camera and at the same location – we all see and expect something different from life. We’d be cheating ourselves if we weren’t true to ourselves – at the end of the day we owe it to ourself to be truthful and honest.

I am pretty sure if I lived my life as per another person’s wishes if not today, some day I’ll repent and it wouldn’t be a wonderful feeling if it were too late :-)

If a man is not faithful to his own individuality, he cannot be loyal to anything.

Compassion

I always used to question myself and wonder what I did to deserve more in life compared to the toddler with a baby on her shoulder begging for money or the family sleeping on the platform or a malnourished kid in some remote part of the world or living in constant threat of life etc. I would feel very disturbed especially at the signals when I see the kids.

Good or bad, I don’t feel that disturbed now – I guess I’ve started accepting my limitations in terms of what I can actually do. I am learning to just do my best! :-) I would strongly encourage everyone to think beyond ourselves and look around us to help others – maybe our friends, maybe our relatives, maybe a stranger … it doesn’t always have to be money; it could be time, it could me advice, it could be blood, it could be lending a shoulder, it could be being a rock etc. Personally compassion helps me more than I would expect, at times I am astonished by what I get back.

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.

Life is sacred. Celebrate life. Care for others and share whatever you have with those less fortunate than you.

Courage

The story of the Mumbai blasts makes me feel sad, angry, frustrated, disgusted, depressed all in one go. Someone tweeted “We need to take a good long look at ourselves and see if the word “humanity” is justified at all when we refer to homo sapiens.” And I feel it is so darn true. I hardly seem to meet honest and genuine people these days and it makes me wonder where the human race is headed? Being nice is pretty useless, if we are not bold or don’t have the guts to stand-up for what we believe in even if it means being alone.

Our inner strengths, experiences, and truths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken away. Every person has an inborn worth and can contribute to the human community. We all can treat one another with dignity and respect, provide opportunities to grow toward our fullest lives and help one another discover and develop our unique gifts. We each deserve this and we all can extend it to others.

Death

Everyone knows they’re going to die, but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently.  Dying, is only one thing to be sad over, Mitch. Living unhappily is something else.